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Age Appropriate Chores – Raising Responsible Adults

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Chores, they have been one of the most challenging things for me to implement. The challenge hasn’t been about the kids, it’s been more about me. A couple of years ago I was forced to take a hard look at myself. I discovered that I was controlling and unorganized. I also discovered that I had an issue with paying an allowance.  I knew I had to come up with a solution because I was holding the kids back with my issues.

I’m a perfectionist, not a very good one, but still a perfectionist. In my little world, things need to get done in a certain way and in a particular order, which makes me a controlling perfectionist. Not a very pretty combination! It was so much easier, on everyone, if I just did everything myself. Things got done right, they were done in a timely manner and I didn’t have to deal with any arguing or fussing.

I never really had any kind of schedule for cleaning, if I saw that something needed cleaning, I did it. I was organized in one way but completely unorganized in others. If you looked in my linen closet or medicine cabinet you would think that someone with OCD lived here. However, the opposite was true when it came to taking the garbage to the curb or making it to scheduled appointments.

When I was growing up we never had any specific chores, so I didn’t know where to start. My mother worked and it was our responsibility to have the house picked up by the time she got home. We didn’t receive an allowance, she felt that cleaning the house was a responsibility and not a job. I guess I’ve been molded by that philosophy and is why I had a problem giving an allowance.

All of my short comings, were at the detriment of my kids. Every time I did something myself I was missing the opportunity to teach them how to be independent and self sufficient adults. I had to figure out a way to teach the kids how to do household chores and a way to reward them for it. Through a lot of reflection, I came up with the following system, which has made huge changes in the running of our home. The system is an organized tool that is based on the kids skill level (age), and it addresses how they are rewarded.

The kids tasks are broken up into three categories:
1.     Responsibilities – This teaches the kids that throughout their lives they will have
responsibilities which are not monetarily compensated. The reward comes from the
satisfaction of a job well done.
2.     Chores – This teaches them that when they work hard they can earn the money
they need for the things that they want.
3.     Team Work – This teaches them that working together on a common goal gets it
done quicker, strengthens bonds, builds character and prepares them for the life.

Here is how we assign tasks:

2-3 Years Old
All of the tasks for this age group require the help of a parent or older sibling.
Responsibilities
     –  Put their stuff away
     –  Put their clothes in the hamper
Team Work
     –  Yard work (plant flowers, rake, water)
     –  Clean Car (wash, vacuum, clean out inside)
Chores
     –  Kitchen – unload the dishwasher (plastic items)
     –  Bathroom – empty trash
     –  Living Room – dust
     –  Laundry – move clothes from washer to dryer
     –  Dinner – set the table
     –  Feed pets
4-5 Years Old
Some of the tasks for this age group may require the help of a parent or older sibling.
Responsibilities
     –  All Responsibilities of the 2-3 years old
     –  Make bed
     –  Put away clean clothes
     –  Lay out clothes for the next day
Team Work
     –  All Team Work tasks of the 2-3 years old
     –  Help carry in groceries
Chores
     –  All Chores of the 2-3 years old
     –  Kitchen – unload dishwasher
     –  Bathroom – wipe out bathroom sink
     –  Living Room – vacuum (couch, chairs, cushions)
     –  Laundry – sort clothes
     –  Laundry – match socks
     –  Dinner – help prepare food
     –  Dinner – clear the table
     –  Take out recycling
     –  Take out garbage
6-8 Years Old
Some of the tasks for this age group may require the help of a parent or older sibling.
Responsibilities
     –  All Responsibilities of the 4-5 years old
     –  Clean room
     –  Vacuum their bedroom
     –  Change bed sheets
Team Work
     –  All Team Work tasks of the 4-5 years old
     –  Home maintenance
     –  Bike care
Chores
     –  All Chores of the 4-5 years old
     –  Kitchen – rinse dishes
     –  Kitchen – sweep
     –  Bathroom – wipe counters & toilets
     –  Bathroom – mop
     –  Living Room – vacuum
     –  Laundry – learn to use washer & dryer
     –  Laundry – fold dish towels
     –  Clean garbage cans
     –  Shake rugs
9-11 Years Old
Some of the tasks for this age group may require the help of a parent or older sibling.
Responsibilities
     –  All Responsibilities of the 6-8 years old
Team Work
     –  All Team Work tasks of the 6-8 years old
     –  Assist with household projects (ex. painting)
     –  Put away groceries
     –  Check and add oil to the car
     –  Clean patio furniture
     –  Clean up after pets
Chores
     –  All Chores of the 6-8 years old
     –  Kitchen – clean refrigerator
     –  Kitchen – load dishwasher/wash dishes
     –  Kitchen – clean microwave
     –  Bathroom – clean bathtub/shower
     –  Laundry – operate washer and dryer
     –  Dinner – make a simple meal
     –  Take trash to curb
12-14 Years Old
Some of the tasks for this age group may require the help of a parent or older sibling.
Responsibilities
     –  All Responsibilities of the 9-11 years old
     –  Help with bi-annual cleaning (spring cleaning)
Team Work
     –  All Team Work tasks of the 9-11 years old
     –  Help build things
     –  Car maintenance
     –  Learn how to properly use tools
Chores
     –  All Chores of the 9-11 years old
     –  Kitchen – clean appliances
     –  Bathroom – clean
     –  Laundry – fold clothes
     –  Dinner – make dinner
     –  Change light bulbs
     –  Clean vacuum cleaner
     –  Vacuum upstairs/downstairs
15+ Year Olds
Some of the tasks for this age group may require the help of a parent or older sibling.
Responsibilities
     –  All Responsibilities of the 12-14 years old
     –  Do their own laundry
Team Work
     –  All Team Work tasks of the 12-14 years old
Chores
     –  All Chores of the 12-14 years old
     –  Kitchen – clean
     –  Living Room – clean
     –  Dining Room – clean
     –  Laundry Room – clean
     –  Wash windows
     –  Create weekly menu
     –  Make grocery list
     –  Learn comparative shopping
No matter what age your children are when starting, start at the beginning. Once they have mastered a level move on to the next one until they have reached their age group. This is an ever evolving list, we have been working on it for a couple of years. If we discover a skill that we think would benefit them as adults we find a way to work it into his system.In a future post I will be sharing how we use each category to reward the kids. I will also share with you how we use each category to teach them additional life lessons, such as money management.

Comments

  3. Controlling perfectionist…I know how to fill that role! Thanks for this great list. Wonderful ideas!

    Reply

  4. These are wonderful ideas! I love that you are teaching your kids real life lessons and helping them grow into responsible adults. That should be every parent's objective. I will definitely be implementing some of these ideas in our family! Thanks for taking the time to post this. I'm looking forward to your future posts on money management and rewards.

    Reply

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